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"OH MY GOD, REINDEERS!"

Pirate Horowitz, the robotic squid pirate, is being brutally hurt by ten reindeers.

Twenty minutes ago, I tried to stop him in his conquest to end the world itself, but I managed to trip on a small stone and fell to the ground. His robotic arm stretched and lifted me in the air then rapidly threw me back down. I was hurt, and I was trying to stand up, but his tentacles swiped me back down. Then, I glimpsed above and my Credit Card -- the source of my materialization power was stolen by his squid tentatcles. He was kicking the crap out of me, hitting me with his pirate hat, until a man came to my rescue.

It was jolly good Santa Claus!

I had my body face down, and I tried to roll back up. I slid across and turned my body around, even though pain was all over, just to see what was happening.

Santa skilfully summoned the ten devilish reindeer pack. Santa's army of four legged creatures came out of thin air, lunged in harmony and trampled the Pirate. Luckily, Pirate Horowitz could not stand up because he only had one foot. His left missing foot was replaced with a wooden hook, that extends into a hat rack.

Rudolphus, the leader of the reindeers aimed at the left wooden hook, careful that it would not extend, so as to not reveal the Ten Evil Hats. If Pirate manages to reveal those Hats, the End of the World will come to fruition. Pirate Horowitz screamed in pain and agony as the ten reindeers kept on stampeding on his tentacles and his wooden rack. "Get off my tentacles, or I will tickle you!" he said, but those words were muffled with the multitude of stampede squishes on his ugly squid face.

I was face-up on the floor, with hat dust on my face when Santa laughed, and helped me up.

"Ya' okay?" He asked, treating me with various healing milk chocolate cookies, selected from the finest homes he had gone into during Christmastime. "Yes, Santa... but don't worry about me! He was about to cast the chant of Hats, which would finish us all! Thank you for the assistance!" I said, while crackling my hanging jaw back to its original position.

"I could've handled it myself, totally, but thanks for the help anyway." I quickly whispered, in order to reiterate that I was not, in any way, overpowered by Pirate Horowitz. Santa just ignored me, as if he didn't believe me. That's when I came to the conclusion that he was deaf.

Pirate Horowitz was about to cast the chant of Hats, before Santa arrived. It was the greatest devilish spell, in which the Ten Evil Hats would combine into a Long Hat, rendering any human or humanoid into an admiration state, permanently paralyzing him or her for eternity. The Long Hat is the best hat that a person could acquire, plated in gold, water, fire and bacon, allowing its bearer to survive with food, heat and liquids, while being decoratively appealing.

A representation of the Long Hat.

Such a hat amuses even my hat-less self, and one look would make me admire the wearer -- his hat, his entirety, and I would stop functioning completely due its stunning appeal. It was said in the past that the Long Hat has caused massive time rifts as it produced a 'pseudo-timestop' effect, stunning anyone in the vicinity of the Hat. Anyone would be motionless in awe due to the attractiveness and beauty of the Long Hat!

However, its power affects only those who may see it. Hence, the Three Blind Mice pushed forward to eliminate this Hat. They were unaffected of its power as they did not have the sense of sight. The Three Blind Mice managed to divide the Hat into Ten more hats, weakening its power. They proceeded to hide the Ten in a Longcase Clock. The Longcase Clock was a fitting throne of the Ten Hats, as it gave the Three Blind Mice enough space to store them all inside, vertically.

The Clock was guarded by the Three, day and night, rain or sun. They were also skillful knights, who were undefeated magically, in physical strength and dexerity. However, Horowitz had a cunning plan! He lured the Three with cheese and the Three Blind Mice left the Clock to eat! And so, Pirate Horowitz stole the Ten Hats while the Clock was unguarded and they were ready to be fused together once again.

As Santa finished eating the leftover cookies which I didn't eat, he snapped into complete seriousness, and muttered, "But my reindeer pack will not keep him at bay for long.... You should run whi-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Rudolphus' scream cut Santa's words. I noticed that the entire reindeer pack has stopped. The tentacles of Pirate Horowitz were expanding!

Pirate Horowitz used my Credit Card to summon Weight Gain Pills, and ate them!

"Haha! One percent per annum interest does not apply to me, because THIS is not mine!" Pirate Horowitz chuckled, flinging my Credit Card with one of his tentacles! Blast! I have to pay for that!

The tentacles increased in size tenfold and furiously swiped ten out of ten reindeers to the ground. The reindeers swiftly stood back up. They used their Christmas Hooves to propel them into surrounding Pirate Horowitz in a split second, even though he was occupying a 10 metre radius with his fat tentacles.

However, it was too late. The ten-hat hatrack was fully extended.

"Hatsta La Vista, Baby." Said Pirate Horowitz.