1.2

Silence.
We made sure that Pirate Horowitz did not get any recognition, not even a single chuckle, from his flawless execution of a pun.
Alas, the ugly squid pirate managed to break free from the furious attack of the reindeers. He was now ready to unleash the fury of the Long Hat. Rudolphus and the other reindeers tried to attack him once again, but it was impossible to do so, because Pirate Horowitz surrounded himself with his slimy, fat tentacles. But that was the least of their problems! 
The fat tentacles were coated with cyborg-like pistons, producing massive amounts of Slimy Liquid, which looked like radioactive waste. The reindeers stopped on their tracks, and they showed faces of disgust and horror. It turned out that the reindeers had a bubble bath before, and they were afraid that their freshly washed Christmas Hooves would get sullied by the slime. 

They were traumatized by the disgusting lime-green hue of the bubbling Slimy Liquid, and were terrified as they smelt the mixed stench of body odor and vinegar. Unfortunately, their delicate eyes and cute, round noses could not fathom such abomination! They fainted, one-by-one! As they dropped one after another, I trembled in terror. The killer strength of the Pirate was unmatched! He defeated the ten reindeers in one fell swoop!
With the reindeer pack gone, Pirate Horowitz knew that nothing could interrupt the chant of Hats. The Ten Evil Hats flew away from Pirate Horowitz’ hooked hatrack foot.. One by one, they started to glow, radiating the entire area with rainbow light. The Ten Hats floated high above the robotic pirate, and spun around in a circular path. Each one of the Hats slowly moved towards the center of this path, as slow as a leg-less turtle.
A mysterious red rectangular box suddenly appeared out of nowhere, floating in the center of the circling Ten Evil Hats. It also had a strange numeral written inside it. 
"0" 
I was baffled as why Pirate had summoned a useless box out of nowhere. It didn't seem that it was hostile -- it didn't do any special attacks or had any magical ability. It was also non-mobile, what a boring summon! 
However, when the numeral changed, I retracted my opinion --  I realized that it was the Loading Screen of Doom! 
The numeral magically changed from zero to one! Slowly but surely it will reach one-hundred, it's maximum value, and when that happens, Ten Hats will combine into a Long Hat! Anyone who sees such a wicked Hat  would never move an inch, for the rest of their lives!
"2"


A Giant Bat-Fish, munching on the Loading Screen of Doom.
“Holy Flying Laser Cats! It increases with a steady rate of change!” I screamed in shock. Santa looked at me with anxiousness in his face. He was afraid. The three parallel folds on his forehead were blatantly larger, and his oval mouth was wide open in disbelief. His eyebrow moved closely together. His eyes were teary, and his white beard swung from left to right, and wanted to detach itself from his chin to run away in cowering fear.
And that it did. Santa’s beard swung forth so hard that it broke free from his chin. The beard rolled off to the distant sunset, determined to build a hairy home away from this chaos, and bring birth to little white moustaches.
"Taste the Power of Water!" Pirate Horowitz said, laughing in triumph at his well played rhyme. He wasn't finished!
He started waving his eleven robotic tentacles and flashes of light came out of thin air. He had made another summon! Smoke whizzed behind him and grey clouds of nimbus followed. It covered a height of twenty times his size, towering over the Ten Evil Hats. After a while, the smoke cleared and the clouds were gone as well. 
I looked up and saw a beaked creature, armed with a pair of wing-like arms and two massive plate-like eyes, staring into the distance. It was a bird of a size taller than any creature I've ever seen in my entire life, standing with its pair of 30-metre amber-coloured legs. Its skin was shining bright, as bright as the sun, but without the eye-burning tenacity which would remove one's eyesight in a split-second.

The creature's epidermis was coated in glossy yellow, reminiscent of the wet stain on my trousers two seconds ago. 

Pirate Horowitz has unleashed the terror of the massive Plastic Rubber Ducky!
The Plastic Rubber Ducky is the Pirate's trump summon. It was said that it had survived torrential ventures in the sea of BathTub, where it had survived several encounters with the mighty Brown Giants. Legend has it that it had downed a Giant by contracting itself fully, and then squealing, producing the highest pitched sound in the universe -- deafening the Giant. The Giant cried for days, until it reached Puberty.
The Plastic Rubber Ducky proceeded to lift its Duck Foot, covering us with a massive Duck Foot shadow, three times the size of a Humpback Whale. 
I was having a terrible day. Not only that Pirate Horowitz is about to obtain the greatest weapon ever created, but I am also on the verge of death. Santa was powerless, motionless to do anything, even though the Hat was not yet brought to this world. The powerful reindeer pack fainted in Blennophobia. The Duck Foot came ever closer, ready to smash us all to pieces.
However, I could not simply just give up.
I quickly swiped my hand into my pocket, and held out, a crimson red sphere. Santa turned the frown in his face into amusement. The amusement in his mind formed into confidence. He knew exactly what was happening. The Duck Foot stopped from advancing towards us. 
There was a force so powerful that it counteracted Plastic Ducky's huge foot. The strength of three hundred reindeers was inside the body of one. Pirate Horowitz smirked. He knew that such a cheap move would not finish us. Rudolphus' front legs were preventing the Duck Foot from moving. His hind legs slipped for a while, and then burrowed itself to force himself up. I let go of the glowing red sphere out of my pocket, and it moved lightning-fast towards Rudolphus' nose.
"GAAAAAAAAAAA!" Rudolphus screamed as he overpowered the Duck Foot. Plastic Rubber Ducky was thrown off balance, and he moved three steps away, almost tipping over. Meanwhile, Rudolphus' eyes became white, radiating in power and strength. He started hovering above ground. His red nose was flashing rapidly.

"His red nose was flashing rapidly."
"REINDEERS, COMBINE!" Santa screamed in excitement. The other nine fainted reindeers stood up in robotic symphony. They hovered above ground. Rudolphus, leader of the pack flew high above, and his legs were spread across in four directions. 
"PREPARE FOR BATTLE, SUPER ULTRA MASSIVE ULTIMATE REINDEER ROBOT Z!" Santa's grin extended over his beardless face.
"52," the Loading Screen of Doom clocked.

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